Of Hearts and Pain
by ToujoursMiraculous
Summary: After the events of Puppeteer 2, Adrien decides to pay Marinette a visit to figure out her sudden change in behavior. Who knew he'd become Chat Blanc?


Work Text:

Marinette had grown distant with Adrien over the past week, ever since that car ride home from the wax museum.

Finally, he thought they were friends, he thought everything was cool between them. They could move on from any issues they had, and he looked forward to a very bright, very Marinette-filled future. But boy was he wrong. Things were worse! She used to stutter and fumble around with her words, but now, she would barely even look at him, much less speak to him.

Adrien attempted to start a conversation with her on a couple of occasions, but both times she'd put on a smile and brushed him off, giving him a reason she had to leave or couldn't take the time to chat.

One afternoon, he decided if he couldn't find out what was going on as Adrien, and if he couldn't find out through Nino from Alya, maybe she'd confide in a certain black cat instead. The unease he felt at not knowing was slowly gnawing away at him, and he didn't think he could take much more of not knowing. Marinette did say she and Chat Noir were friends, after all... And he had confessed about his feelings for Ladybug to her, too. They had a bond now as Chat Noir and Marinette, albeit a small one. But it was a bond nonetheless, and he was counting on it.

He waited until dark to seek her out. When less people would notice the superhero taking the time to visit with a civilian, and more likely when she'd be at home.

It only took him half a minute to reach her place from his. He perched in the same spot he had just before Glaciator had attacked months before, and also like that night, he found her leaning against the railing, quietly in thought, overlooking the city. But unlike that night, there was no big, bright moon in the sky, nor any stars spread out across the vast cloudless sky. They were hidden by clouds that could no longer be made out in darkness.

"Hey Marinette," he greeted gently.

Marinette started with a small squeak, but her reaction wasn't much. "Oh hey," she attempted a pathetic smile.

"Everything okay?" he hopped down onto the railing and sat on it, right beside her.

She didn't speak, or even open her mouth to begin, but her face answered for her.

"Remember how I confided in you about Ladybug?"

Marinette spared a glance at him, then gave him a nod.

"Now it's your turn. I'll listen to whatever you have to say, and I'll try and give you my best advice if you need more than just to get it off your chest."

She blinked, thinking about whether or not she should let it all out. Tikki, as wonderful as she is, just didn't fully understand humans and their feelings. Alya, she hadn't even told yet about the latest incident. It was just too embarrassing! Not to mention, if she knew that Adrien had admitted to loving someone else, well, she couldn't stand the pity talk she'd get, or the overly positive encouragement to go after Luka instead.

But Chat…. He was her best friend. He didn't know that, but she trusted him with so many things. She'd trust him with every secret she had if it wouldn't put him and her family and friends in danger and against Master Fu's rules. And he even trusted her as Marinette with something as precious as his feelings. If anything, he'd be an ear who could listen.

"It's… it's that boy I mentioned" she began. Chat's ears perked up, his attention now entirely on her. "About the broken heart. I was too late. I messed up," she leaned on the railing, her eyes staring off into the distance, looking at nothing in particular.

He tilted his head in confusion. "Messed up? Too late?"

"I should've known he liked someone else, he told me as much, but still I thought…" she trailed off, shaking her head. "It was ridiculous of me to think he could like me, that I ever had a chance. I'm just a friend to him, that's all."

"What happened? Maybe you misunderstood him," he suggested, the way she looked so downhearted, that wasn't okay. He felt a pulse of anger towards the guy that hurt her.

"No, I didn't misunderstand. It was a week ago, we were on our way home after a day out with our friends. I said something to prevent another misunderstanding like we had at the museum, it was so embarrassing," he watched her cover her face with her hands. "He responded to me, saying the girl he loves says the same thing. There's really no misunderstanding that the girl he loves isn't me."

Chat's bright green cat eyes went wide as it struck him. That moment had played over and over again in his mind, too, when he couldn't figure out what had gone wrong between them. The boy she had been talking about was him all along. He wanted confirmation that he wasn't just misunderstanding her. That she did in fact have feelings for him. He swallowed nervously. "This guy… you like him, right?"

"I do," she admitted, not looking him in the eyes.

The blow to his heart was intense. His anger had manifested itself into guilt. Guilt and disgust with himself. He should've realized. He should've understood the situations where she covered her feelings with lies whenever he had addressed her about them. He should've figured out a way to have brought her down gently, to prevent her from being hurt like she was now. He was the jerk responsible for her pain. Anger began to swell up in him again.

"But I need to get over it."

Her words took him by surprise, wiping his feelings temporarily away, only confusion remaining. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not the one he loves," she whispered matter-of-fact, a small smile on her lips. But her voice shook slightly, giving her away. "I'm not the one he wants. I have to respect that and get used to the idea of being just a friend to him. I just don't know how to do that yet."

He could feel her pain. No, he knew her pain, having gone through the exact same thing himself. Still going through it, actually. But how was he to help her when he was the cause of her standing here right now, about to cry, and letting out her feelings to someone she believes is a practical stranger but is in fact the one she's talking about?

For a fleeting moment, he had wished that Ladybug didn't exist so he could give Marinette his heart and make her happy. Just for a moment. It wasn't long at all, but it was enough to startle him.

Chat Noir glanced over at her expression. He felt absolutely sick and horribly angry with himself again. He deserved the worst for hurting her. He didn't deserve her affection, or to have her as a friend.

"I just wish I knew why I'm not good enough," she breathed, tears escaping her eyes, yet a pained smile spread across her face.

Shattered. His heart absolutely shattered in his chest. Chat opened his mouth, wanting to tell her everything he kept locked away. He wanted to explain who he was, who he loved and why. To let her know that she is more than good enough, so beyond good enough that he'd have to explain in multiple languages to get it across, but even that wouldn't explain everything he thought and felt about her. He wanted to tell her she is everything to him, everything good and pure and kind. So important and special to him...

But Ladybug's voice echoed through his head, warning him of the dangers, the reason they couldn't even know about each other, let alone bring anyone else in on the secret unless absolutely strictly necessary.

Marinette couldn't know, and he couldn't fix this. He just had to stand by and watch her cry over him.

A purple butterfly appeared, going unnoticed by both teenagers. The akuma entered Chat Noir's staff and within a moment's time, the butterfly outline appeared in front of his face.

"Ah, Chat Noir. I was wondering when this day would finally arrive," Hawk Moth's familiar, cold voice rang. He sounded overly pleased with himself.

"No…" he grumbled as he tried to fight. "No… you won't get me...I will fight you….ahh!" he clutched his head and doubled over.

Marinette took a step back, gasping. "Chat Noir, you have to fight it!" she yelled.

His eyes drifted up to her face. Her puffy and red-rimmed eyes. The despair that reflected back at him. It was just too much. The guilt and pain flared up within him again, making the fight more difficult.

"Your love for one has caused you to hurt another you hold dear, even... love." Hawk Moth smirked. "I'll give you the power to make it up to her, and of course, you know my price."

Chat Noir struggled and moaned. Part of him truly wanted to fight the akuma off, wanted to drown out Hawk Moth's truthful words. He couldn't let him get a hold of his Miraculous, and he most certainly did not want to fight his lady and take hers. But the pain in his heart flared again as he looked up and saw the girl he cared so much about in pain. And that was enough to take control.

"Of course, Hawk Moth. We're already halfway there," Chat held up his right hand, a devious grin spread across his face.

"Yes. Good luck, Chat Blanc."


End file.
